I Hear The Secrets That You Keep
by Debi
Summary: An answer to the What Women Want Challenge at RR.
1. Default Chapter

Title:I Hear The Secrets That You Keep  
Author:Debi  
Email:IanFan9@aol.com  
Feedback:Please! It's incredibly helpful and inspiring.  
Rating:PG-13/R? I'm not sure, but there's lots of kissing.  
Category:Jake and Hamilton (Like I could write about anyone else...)  
Disclaimer:The song lyrics are from "Talking In Your Sleep" by the Romantics. I don't own any of the characters, either. I just borrow them for personal enjoyment. If I owned Hamilton, I'd be enjoying him alone on a tropical island, not here in the Windy City writing about enjoying him.  
Summary:An answer to LizAngel's What Women Want Challenge from RR. Hamilton can hear what the girls around him are thinking, but he can also hear Jake's thoughts.  
Spoilers:If I have to put this somewhere, it's after Our Town, but before Kiss and Tell. Hamilton doesn't know Jake is a girl yet and it's before Lena or Ryder are introduced.  
Thank You:To Ev, without her my stories might never get finished. To Donnie, for not locking me out of our bedroom when I stay up really late feeding my YA obsession. And to Courtney, for keeping up with such an awesome site.   
  
LizAngel's "What Women Want" Challenge - Submitted 1/13/01 by LizAngel  
Requirements:   
* It's a borrowed idea from the movie What Women Want starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt.   
* Set before Hamilton knows Jake is a girl   
* One day Hamilton wakes up to realize that he can read girls minds and know what they think   
* He can only read the minds of girls not boys   
* He starts to read Jake's thoughts and gets all confused cause he's supposed to think Jake is a boy   
* Eventually he finds out about Jake---should be in unique fashion   
* Jake and Hamilton live happily ever after   
  
Author's Note: Since FFN does not support italics, all the female character's thoughts are in {brackets}.  
  
  
"Oh come on!" Hamilton grumbled in frustration. "I know it's here somewhere."  
  
Hamilton was standing on tiptoes atop an old wooden stepladder, groping around the top shelf of his closet. The shelf was at least an inch or two above his eye level, leaving him to search blindly with his hands. He was looking for his old photography portfolio. It had been ages since he had even thought about it. For Christmas last year, his mother had given him a new portfolio that was larger and held twice as many prints as the old one. He had put the old folio in his closet when he began filling the new one. Since he rarely had anyone other than his mother to show his pictures to, the old leather binder had basically been forgotten, until today.  
  
This morning at crew practice Jake had commented on the incredible array of colors in the sunrise. They shared a laugh that watching the sun rise above the lake was the only nice thing about getting up that early on a Saturday. Hamilton mentioned that he had taken pictures of some of the more spectacular sunrises over New Rawley Lake over the past few years. To his great surprise, Jake asked to see those pictures. The other guys usually showed only polite interest in his hobby and he had never actually shown his work to another student before. But somehow, it felt right to share his work with Jake and he agreed to dig out the old photos.   
  
Standing on the rickety ladder, with dust tickling his nose, he began to question the wisdom of his decision. Not only was he having trouble finding them, he was beginning to second guess his decision to share them in the first place. His pictures were like a part of him. By showing them, he would be opening up in a way he had never done before. Jake was his best friend and he trusted him, so that wasn't a problem. The problem was the uneasy feeling in his stomach. Bat-sized butterflies would flit around in his stomach whenever he thought about Jake.  
  
Hamilton's hand finally came across the item it was searching for, but what he couldn't see was a box sitting on top of the portfolio. As Hamilton pulled the portfolio from the shelf - the box fell towards his face. Startled by the falling object, Hamilton lost his balance and fell backwards off the ladder. It wasn't a long way down, but he managed to whack his head on the footboard of the bed before hitting the floor. Hamilton lay dazed for a moment before getting up.   
  
"Oh, this is gonna hurt..." he moaned.   
  
Rubbing the goose egg on the back of his head, he went down to the kitchen for some ice. Gathering the ice and a towel to wrap it in, he went back to his room. As he settled in on the bed, with the ice pack in place, he thought to himself that Jake had better like these pictures as he was going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow to show for them. He dozed off thinking about how Jake was going to react to the pictures.   
  
He awoke to a dark room and realized he had been asleep for several hours. Wondering why his mother hadn't woken him up, Hamilton went downstairs. He found his mother in the living room watching a movie while his father dozed on the couch beside her.   
  
"Hi, Munchie. Did you have a good nap?"  
  
"Mom, drop the Munchie already. What's going on? Why didn't you wake me up?"  
  
"When we came home you were sound asleep. I tried to wake you, but you didn't budge, so I let you sleep. I put your dinner in the fridge. Do you feel okay, honey?" {We didn't wake you up because we wanted to mess around a little. And it's not any fun when you're worried about your son walking in on you.}  
  
"What?" Hamilton's head whipped around to stare at his mother. He wasn't sure he had heard her right.   
  
Kate gave him a worried look. {What's wrong with him?}  
  
Hamilton stared at his mother, dazed and uncertain. He knew he was hearing her voice, but her lips hadn't moved. What was going on here?   
  
"No, Mom, I'm fine." Hamilton said, opting to play it safe. If he told her about the fall, she'd get all mushy and maternal on him. He just wanted to be alone and figure out why he was hearing things.   
  
"Are you hungry? I can go heat up your dinner." {Something's wrong here, he looks pale. Is he getting sick?}  
  
"No thanks, Mom. I'm fine, really. I've just got a headache that's all...I think I'm going to take some Tylenol and go back to bed. Goodnight." Hamilton turned to walk away.  
  
Kate looked at him, not sure whether to believe him and let him go or check his temperature. {Now, I know something isn't right. He never goes to bed this early. Heck, he's usually not even home this early.}  
  
Confused, Hamilton looked back at his mother. Again, he was hearing her voice but her lips weren't moving. Lost in a swirl of confusing thoughts, he trudged back up the stairs.  
  
"What the hell happened down there? That was totally weird, I swear I was hearing things. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought." Hamilton said aloud as he grabbed the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head. He tossed it to the floor and added his shorts to the pile. Crawling under the covers he closed his eyes and tried not to think about anyone or anything.   
  
Against his will, Jake came to mind. Again he tried to imagine what it was going to be like showing his pictures to Jake. He finally had to admit how nervous he was. Sharing his passion with another guy was a whole lot different that sharing with his mother. No matter what his pictures looked like, his mother was always loving and supportive. What if Jake didn't like the pictures? What if Jake teased him about his choice of hobbies? What if Jake told the other guys and they teased him?   
  
"Stop it!" He scolded himself. "Stop thinking about Jake and go to sleep."   
  
Determined to sleep, he rolled to his side and curled around his pillow.  
  
Sunlight poked at his eyelids, urging him to wake up.   
  
"Oh man, that hurts," he cried as one blue eye peeked open.   
  
Hamilton flinched as the bright light stabbed at him and made him painfully aware of his headache from last night's fall. He contemplated staying in bed for the day, but realized his mother would be worried and probably insist on a visit to the doctor. The pediatrician, no less, as his mother felt he should still see the same doctor at 15 that he did at 5. Images of the waiting room decorated with brightly colored clowns and miniature tables and chairs were enough to force him out of bed.  
  
He took his time in the shower, using extra hot water to help ease his sore muscles. Wincing occasionally as he moved, he washed his hair and soaped himself up. As he stood under the steady spray of water to rinse off, he replayed last night's events in his mind. He understood why his body was sore, that fall was a good one he was going to hurt for a few days. But he couldn't figure out what happened with his mother last night, why could he hear her when her lips weren't moving? Was he imagining things? Hearing things? Or had he just plain gone crazy?  
  
The hot water faded to cold pulling Hamilton from his thoughts. He turned off the water and reached for a towel. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stepped out from the bathroom to go to his room, but ran into his mother instead. She was carrying a pile of neatly folded sheets in her hands.  
  
"Oh, hi...Mom."  
  
"Good morning, Munchie." Kate smiled warmly at him. {My little boy is growing up and turning into such a handsome young man.}  
  
"Mom!" Hamilton exclaimed and his checks flushed red with embarrassment.  
  
"What, honey?" She looked at him innocently. {He's acting funny again.}  
  
"Ah...nothing. I'm...just going to get dressed and head over to the dorms." He stuttered in response.   
  
"You don't want something for breakfast?"  
  
"No thanks, Mom." He was eager to get out of the house, too many weird things were happening there.  
  
"Are you sure, honey?" Kate eyed him suspiciously. {Now I know something is wrong with him! He never turns down food. Maybe I should call the doctor?}  
  
"Really Mom, it's ok. I'm gonna go get ready now." He was getting very self conscious standing there wearing only a towel.  
  
He ducked into his room, not giving her time to answer or to hear any more weird stuff. He dressed quickly, throwing on a pair of shorts and a gray tank top. Grabbing his running shoes and the portfolio, he peeked into the hallway before exiting his room. He wanted to leave without having to talk to his mother again.  
  
Once outside and clear of his house, he breathed a deep sigh of relief. His head still hurt from the fall, but these crazy conversations with his mother were wearing him out. He headed for the dorms.  
  
{I can't believe I slept with him! What was I thinking?}   
  
Hamilton's head shot up at the sound. What was that? He stopped and looked around. He didn't see anyone, but he was certain he had heard a girl's voice. He shook his head to clear the voice and started walking again.  
  
{I can't believe I fell for all that "you're so special to me" nonsense.}  
  
Hamilton stopped dead in his tracks. The voice was back, but where was the person that went with this voice? Hamilton looked around more closely, finally noticing a girl sitting against a large oak tree. He recognized her from Rawley girls, Rachel something, he had seen her with one of the seniors just a few days ago. She was sitting with her back against the tree and her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked pretty upset.  
  
{What a jerk. He hasn't even called.}   
  
Hamilton just stood there. What was happening to him? Before he had a chance to analyze this newest development, Becky from his Algebra class walked past him.  
  
"Hi Hamilton!" She smiled brightly at him. {Oh my god! Can you get any more gorgeous than that?}  
  
Now, he was sure he was losing his mind. The short walk to the dorm was turning into a nightmare. He started walking again and tried to block out all the voices, but it was impossible. Every time someone came close to him, he heard their voice inside his head. They didn't even have to talk to him their voices would just "appear" in his mind.  
  
{Wow, it's beautiful out this morning. Maybe I'll ask Nathan if he wants to go for a picnic.}   
  
{I really need to do some work on that paper for History or I'll never get it done on time.}  
  
{I hate it here it's too quiet. Why can't I just go back to the city and go to school with my friends?}   
  
{Hello, beautiful! What a shame his father is the Dean, I could never go out with someone who's parents work at the school.}  
  
Hamilton was trying to avoid actually looking at the people whose voices were in his head...until that last one. He looked up to see Sandra Moore. No surprise there, she was one of the resident "princesses" at Rawley Girls who had never given him so much as the time of day before. He shot her his best 'I'm-not-amused' look and kept walking.  
  
By the he reached the dorm, Hamilton came to the conclusion that these were other people's thoughts he was hearing. Like ESP or something, but the big question still remained - why? Why was this happening to him? Did it have something to do with the fall last night?  
  
As Hamilton walked past the Common Room, both Will and Scout greeted him. He returned the greetings without paying much attention to what he was saying and kept walking. He got about five feet away before he realized he wasn't hearing anything. Silence...beautiful silence. Excited, he hurried back to the Common room just to be sure.  
  
"Uh, hey guys. What are you watching?"  
  
Will looked up and smiled. "The Making of SI's Swimsuit Edition. It starts in five minutes - grab a seat."  
  
"Yep, a whole hour of bikini clad models. It's even better than Baywatch - no David Hasslehoff." Scout was grinning like the Cheshire cat.  
  
Hamilton was thrilled. The voices were gone! He was talking to both Will and Scout and hadn't heard anything other than what was spoken aloud.   
  
"Sounds like fun, maybe we'll join you. I'm headed to..."  
  
{I'm never going to figure out this computer stuff. Oh wow, why can't he be my tutor? He's gorgeous; look at that body! Thank heaven for tank tops.}  
  
Hamilton was cut off mid-sentence by a voice in his head. Damn! He turned to see Harry Johnson with a girl, setting up laptops on the table in the corner. The girl blushed and looked away when he returned her stare.  
  
Hamilton fell into the armchair next to the couch more confused then ever. He hadn't heard a word from Will or Scout and certainly they were thinking about stuff. Mentally he made a list of all the voices he had heard looking for something they all had in common. Smiling to himself, he realized that they were all female. This 'gift' he had developed was a picky one.   
  
"This could come in handy or drive me insane," he chuckled quietly.  
  
"Ham?" Hamilton looked up at the sound of his name. Will was looking at him expectantly.  
  
"Uh, sorry. What were you saying?"  
  
"I said 'where are you headed'. You started to say something and then you just stopped. So, where are you headed?"  
  
"Oh, sorry, Will, I've got a lot on my mind today. I'm supposed to meet Jake. I was headed up to his room. I should get up there."   
  
Hamilton got up to leave.  
  
{Damn, he's leaving. Oh well, I guess that's a good thing. I won't learn anything if I spend the whole session staring at him instead of listening to Harry.}  
  
Hamilton stopped, shook his head in frustration and then walked away. Hearing what girls thought was going to take some getting used to.   
  
When he got to Jake's room he remembered the portfolio he had been holding all along. He had forgotten about the pictures. He really wasn't in the mood for this anymore. Maybe watching bikini clad models was the way to go after all. Hopefully, Jake would understand and they could look at the pictures some other time. He knocked on the door and waited for Jake to answer.  
  
Jake opened the door and smiled brightly. "Hey, Hamilton." {My day just got so much better.}   
  
Hamilton stood in the doorway dumbfounded. Had he heard that right? Did he just hear what Jake was thinking?  
  
"Dude, are you going to come in or stand in the doorway all day?" {What's up with him?}  
  
No doubt about it now, he was hearing Jake's thoughts. Just when he thought he was beginning to understand this thing, it threw a curve ball at him. He could hear girls and at least one guy.  
  
"Oh, sorry." He stepped inside and Jake closed the door. {Something's not right.}  
  
"So, are those the pictures?" Jake pointed at the portfolio in his hand. {I can't wait to see them.}  
  
Hamilton blushed and fidgeted nervously. "Yeah, but you know, could we do this another time? Will and Scout are watching TV in the Common Room maybe we could just go join them instead? You know, veg out in front of the tube for a while?'  
  
"Ok, I guess." Jake was hesitant, something weird was going on here. {You carried them all the way over here, but now you don't want to show me the pictures. What's going on?}  
  
"Nothing's going on." Hamilton smiled and opened the door, not catching his error.  
  
"What?" Jake stopped dead in her tracks. {What did you just say?}  
  
A lightening bolt of realization hit Hamilton. He had answered one of Jake's thoughts! He scrambled to think of a way out of his mistake.  
  
"Uh...I said 'nothing's going on'...today...so maybe we could watch TV...for a while...and then...look at the pictures later on?" He prayed he covered well enough.  
  
Jake stared at him for a moment. {He's acting way too weird.} But rather than push him for information, Jake shook her head and walked out the door.  
  
{Maybe I can get him to talk later.}  
  
They walked back to the Common Room in silence, but Hamilton could hear Jake wondering what was wrong with him and why he was acting so funny. He contemplated telling Jake what was happening to him, but he didn't understand it himself. 'Besides, Jake might freak out if he knew that I could hear what he's thinking,' Hamilton told himself.  
  
"Hey guys." Hamilton sat back down in the armchair by the couch.   
  
"Hey Ham, Jake." Will and Scout said in unison.  
  
{Will's wearing a red shirt! What a surprise.} "Hi guys." Jake said and sat down between them on the couch.  
  
Hamilton looked up at Jake with a small smirk on his face. He had noticed Will's abundance of red shirts as well. Then again, half his closet was blue so he didn't have much room to talk.  
  
The commercial ended and the four turned their attention to the TV screen.  
  
{What the hell is this?} "Guys, what are we watching?" Jake asked cautiously.  
  
"The Making of SI's Swimsuit Edition." Scout announced happily.  
  
{Great, just great. Instead of an afternoon of photography, we have an afternoon of made-for-TV pornography. Just great. Scout's gonna need a bucket he's drooling already and it's still the opening credits.} "That's cool, lot's of babes in bikinis."  
  
Hamilton stared at Jake in disbelief. What was that about? Jake turned to look at Hamilton and felt the heat rise when her eyes met his.  
  
{He's got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. And those long, sexy eyelashes ought to be illegal.}   
  
Hamilton choked.   
  
Will, Scout and Jake looked at him, not sure why he acting so strangely.  
  
"Are you ok, Ham?" Will asked.   
  
"Yeah...ah...no. You know what? I've got a headache. I think I'm going to go home and go back to bed. Sorry guys. I'll catch you later." Hamilton rushed out of the room and ran back home.   



	2. Part II

Hamilton thanked his lucky stars that his parents were out and raced up the stairs to his room. He closed the door and the blinds and fell onto the bed. For a moment, he beat his pillow in frustration. 'Jake looked right at me and thought about beautiful eyes and sexy eyelashes,' Hamilton thought to himself. 'He said he wasn't gay, he told me it was just a sketchy moment. So why is he thinking about my beautiful eyes?' Too tired to think about his situation, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
  
His mother woke him for dinner. Sitting at the table was like torture. In between answering his father's questions about classes, he had to deal with his mother's thoughts. Apparently his mother was feeling pretty frisky this weekend and it was more than Hamilton ever wanted to know.   
  
{Should I wear the pink teddy or the black bra and panties tonight? Or maybe the red nightie?}  
  
Hamilton lost what little remained of his appetite. He excused himself and went back to his room to hide.  
  
His co-ed classes Monday were an exercise in futility. He couldn't concentrate on what the teachers were saying because he kept hearing thoughts from all the girls in class. Thoughts about everything from cramps to Algebra, boys to Shakespeare, clothes to tonight's episode of Roswell were out there and he could hear every one of them. It was impossible to ignore.  
  
In Finn's class, he had Jake to deal with as well. He was desperate to act normally, but he wasn't successful. Jake spent a good portion of the class worrying about him and why he was acting so strangely. Finn must have noticed something was wrong, too. He asked Hamilton to stay after class.  
  
"Is everything alright, Mr. Fleming? You were more distracted than usual during class."  
  
"I...just haven't felt good. I stayed in bed most of the weekend." At least that wasn't an outright lie, right? Hamilton eyed Finn trying to gauge his mood. "Maybe I could skip practice this afternoon and go back home to bed?"  
  
Finn paused before answering. "I suppose I could let you miss one practice. But you do know I'll find out if you're not at home in bed."  
  
"I know. Thanks, Finn."   
  
Hamilton left and headed home. He knew the house would be empty for at least a couple hours as both his parents would be at the school until dinnertime. It would give him some much-needed peace and quiet. He went to his room and put in his favorite Doors CD. Picking up the old portfolio, he sat cross-legged on the bed and began looking through the pictures.   
  
A knock on his bedroom door startled him. He opened it to find Jake.   
  
"What are you doing here?" A part of him was thrilled to see Jake, but the other part reminded him that he could hear Jake's thoughts and yesterday Jake thought he had beautiful eyes and sexy eyelashes.  
  
"I knocked on the front door, but no one answered. I could hear the music, so I knew you were home. You weren't at practice." {I was worried about you. You've been acting strange for two days now. I want to know what's wrong.}  
  
"Yeah...I asked Finn if I could take a pass today."  
  
Jake looked at Hamilton waiting for him to say more, when it became obvious that he wasn't, she tried again. {OK, I'm going to have to pry it out of you.}   
  
"So...is everything ok? Finn wouldn't let you miss practice for nothing." {Why won't he tell me what's going on here? I thought we were friends.}  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I just haven't felt so great. Bad headache...that's all." Jake's concern was making him feel guilty, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Jake what was happening. And there was still the issue of Jake's thoughts.  
  
"A headache? Dude, you had the music cranked up pretty loud for someone who has a headache." {Why is he lying to me? Is he mad at me?}   
  
"Look Jake, I'm not mad at you, OK? I didn't feel like going to practice today. I just wanted to be alone for a while. " Hamilton fell back onto his bed in frustration. He didn't want Jake to feel responsible for his behavior.  
  
Jake stood there not sure what to say or do. {How did he know I was worried about making him mad? Am I being that obvious? And how can I let him know I want to help without freaking him out all over again? I can't very well put my arms around him and give him a hug. He'll probably deck me. But something is wrong and I want him to know I'll be there for him.}  
  
Hamilton's eyes went wide.   
  
Jake noticed the subtle change in Hamilton's expression. He looked slightly panicked. {What the heck is wrong with him? Why won't he just come right out and tell me what the problem is? Boy, do know how to pick 'em. He may be drop dead gorgeous but I can't read his moods to save my life. Every time I think I have him figured out, he switches gears again.}   
  
Hamilton was trying to remain calm, but Jake's thoughts were doing a number on his now fragile nerves.   
  
"Jake...you know...I'd really like to get some sleep before my parents come home. I'll see you tomorrow?" Hamilton hoped that by walking towards the door, Jake would get the idea.  
  
{Subtle, dude.}  
  
Jake followed him down the stairs and into the foyer. {I'm so confused. What's going on here? Why won't he talk to me?}  
  
Jake stopped at the front door. "You know I'm here if you need anything, right? Just call me." {Please call me!}  
  
"Thanks. See ya in class." Hamilton closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh of relief.  
  
{I think I'm in love with a nutcase!}  
  
Hamilton whipped around to stare at the closed door. He had sighed too soon. Jake's voice resonated in his mind - "I'm in love".  
  
"Oh god." Hamilton kicked at the door in frustration and went back upstairs.  
  
He was spared from his mother's thoughts at dinner thanks to a special poetry class she and Finn were putting together. He and his father ate quickly and retreated to separate rooms. Hamilton laid in bed thinking about Jake, 'Jake said he wasn't gay, but Jake's thoughts prove he is. Jake said kissing me was a sketchy moment and it was over, but Jake's thoughts prove it isn't. Jake is in love with me!'   
  
He didn't want to go back to that kiss, but Jake's thoughts forced him to go there. As hard as he tried to deny it and forget about it, that kiss had felt right. Jake felt right. He felt more comfortable around Jake than any of the other guys. He looked forward to seeing Jake. On the roof that day, he should have been disgusted that another guy was kissing him, but he wasn't. He was thinking about how surprisingly soft Jake's lips were. After the kiss when they agreed to "forget about it", they shook hands. He couldn't deny the electricity that shot through him when Jake's skin touched his own. In some inexplicable way, he had been drawn to Jake Pratt from the moment his motorcycle appeared in Hamilton's camera lens.   
  
"Now what do I do?" Hamilton asked the ceiling.  
  
Tuesday's classes were another pointless endeavor. He still wasn't used to hearing what the girls around him were thinking and it was more than a little distracting. Finn's Lit class was particularly difficult. Half the class was female - and then there was Jake.  
  
{This is so boring. Can't we study someone interesting, like Edgar Allen Poe?}  
  
{I loved this dress at Bloomingdale's, now I'm not so sure. I think it makes me look fat.}  
  
{That Scout guy is cute, but he's kinda short.}  
  
{I still can't figure out why is Hamilton acting so strangely. Did something happen? Is he upset again about me kissing him?}  
  
{Does Finn know what a hair cut is? He's pretty cute for an old guy but his hair is all over the place. A comb would help, too.}  
  
{I thought he said we were getting past this, god, why did I have to do a dumb thing like that anyway? Because he has the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen, that's why. And he has the must luscious, inviting mouth I have ever seen. The very first week and I screwed up royally. I didn't even give this whole plan a chance to work before I messed up.}   
  
{Oooh, tonight is That 70's Show! Kelso is so cute, a little dim, but cute. I'll have to stake out the TV in the lounge early or I'll be watching Buffy again instead of Ashton Kutcher in tight pants.}  
  
{Why does he have to be so beautiful? Look at him, perfect body, stunning face and he's sweet, smart and funny. He's everything I could ever ask for in a guy and he just has to be the Dean's son. The same Dean that could throw me out of here and insure that I never saw Hamilton Fleming again.}  
  
Hamilton was having trouble even sitting still by the end of class. The girl's thoughts were annoying, but Jake's thoughts had him wanting to run away and hide. It was perfectly clear that Jake was in love with him.   
  
'So exactly how do I feel about Jake? I feel drawn to Jake in some crazy, unexplainable way and it scares the living daylights out of me because Jake is a guy. That's how I feel!' Hamilton's thoughts warred within him.   
  
The very moment Finn dismissed the class Hamilton was out of there, not giving Jake or anyone else the chance to talk to him. That afternoon he arrived for crew practice at the last possible minute, thus avoiding questions or comments.   
  
Practice went better than he had expected. Jake was all business in the boat except for once.  
  
"Stroke! Stroke!" Jake shouted into the headset as her eyes settled on Hamilton who sat directly across from her. She always tried to avoid looking at him during practice for fear she would inadvertently say something that was better left unsaid.  
  
{Boy would I like to stroke him!}   
  
Hamilton stopped rowing and stared at Jake until Finn's voice prompted him back to reality.  
  
"Fleming! This is not break time, get with it!"  
  
After practice, Jake was out of the boat first and managed to corner Hamilton on the dock before he could escape.  
  
"Hamilton, is something wrong? Seriously, you've been acting really strange and I'm getting worried. Are you still mad at me about" Jake switched to a whisper "that kiss? Or is there something else going on?"  
  
Hamilton looked at Jake; the pangs of guilt were back. Jake was trying to take the blame for his irrational behavior again.  
  
"It's a long story Jake, just...don't worry about it, ok?" He smiled and tried to sound sincere.  
  
{Yeah, right, don't worry!} "Is this about what happened on the roof? Because really, I meant what I said; I'm not gay and you don't have to worry about it happening again."  
  
"No Jake, it's not about that...well, maybe...no. I should get home. I promise we'll talk about this some other time."   
  
{Maybe? And when? When are you going to tell me what's on your mind?} Jake's eyes betrayed the confusion inside. Hamilton tried to smile and put a reassuring hand on Jake's shoulder as he walked past. The fluttering in his stomach at the contact did not go unnoticed. He walked home slowly trying to make some sense of what Jake had said.   
  
'Jake insisted again that he wasn't gay, so why is he thinking about me the way he does? How can you think about another guy like that if you're not gay? And if Jake's not gay, where does that leave me? I'm attracted to my best friend who kissed me, but he's not gay.'  
  
Hamilton said a little prayer of thanks as dinner ended. His mother wasn't feeling frisky tonight and her thoughts had mainly revolved around the painting she was currently working on. Hamilton was still caught up enough in his situation with Jake that it was fairly easy to ignore his mother's thoughts. After dinner he decided to take a walk by the lake.  
  
Jake was walking back to the dorm after an evening motorcycle ride when she saw a familiar figure sitting on the dock by the lake. She debated for a moment as the whether she should try to talk to him again. Finally her feelings for him won out and she cautiously approached the dock.  
  
{Here goes nothin'...}  
  
"Hey" Jake said softly as she came up next to him.  
  
"Hey"   
  
"Mind if I sit?"  
  
Hamilton turned to face Jake for the first time. He immediately noticed the care and concern in Jake's eyes. He didn't have the heart to tell Jake to go away.  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
{That's a step in the right direction.}  
  
"Look, Hamilton, I know something's wrong and you don't want to talk about it..."  
  
"Jake..."  
  
"No wait. Let me finish. I know something is wrong and that you don't want to talk about it. But I was thinking...that maybe...it would help if you just tried to forget about whatever it is for a while. You know do something else that will take your mind off of it."   
  
Jake searched Hamilton's face - no negative reaction yet. {Another step in the right direction.}  
  
"I was thinking that maybe we could take look at those pictures. You brought them over the other day, but we never got to look at them." {I'd still like to see those pictures.}  
  
Hamilton smiled, maybe Jake was right.   
  
"Maybe you're right. They're at the house, is that ok?"  
  
"Sure, lead the way." Jake smiled, happy that Hamilton hadn't pushed away again.  
  
Hamilton opened the front door and ushered Jake inside.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
His father stepped out of his study. "Your Mother went back to her classroom to work on her new painting. Do you need something?"  
  
{Oh god, the Dean!}  
  
"No, sir. We're just going to go up to my room for a while."  
  
Hamilton noticed Jake's nervousness, but dismissed it because plenty of students got nervous around his father.  
  
Jake followed Hamilton into his room and couldn't help but smile. It was so perfectly "Hamilton". The furniture and hard wood floor were all golden oak. An Oriental rug, the bedspread and curtains were all in navy blue. There was a guitar in one corner next to a bookshelf that was loaded with books. A few music posters mixed with framed 8 x 10 photographs adorned the walls.   
  
"Have a seat." Hamilton pointed to the desk.  
  
"Do you mind sitting on the floor?" Jake asked somewhat sheepishly. {I don't like people looking over my shoulder.}  
  
"Uh, no."   
  
Jake sat cross-legged on the floor and Hamilton sat directly across from Jake, placing the portfolio between them.   
  
"Go ahead." Hamilton took in a deep breath as Jake opened the leather binder. The first picture was one of the crew team rowing in the middle of the lake just as the sun was coming up. Wide swaths of orange and pink cut across the sky and the eight-man boat was a dark silhouette against the shimmering lake. It was a beautiful picture, capturing not only the beauty of the sunrise but the absolute serenity of the moment.   
  
Jake's face lit up in a wide smile and Hamilton finally released the breath he had been holding. A huge wave of relief washed over him. As they moved through the portfolio, Hamilton would let Jake look at the picture for a moment and then give some background details of the shot. Since Jake's thoughts were focused on the photographs, Hamilton found himself able to relax and enjoy Jake's company for the first time since he fell.  
  
"What's this here?" Jake asked pointing to the bottom corner of a picture.  
  
Hamilton craned his neck to see what Jake was talking about and couldn't get a clear view of the object in question. Needing a better angle, Hamilton slid next to Jake and leaned closer. Jake pointed again and Hamilton smiled.  
  
"Those are my dogs swimming, see ears, eyes and noses." He said outlining each of the dogs with his fingertip. "They were at the lake with me and managed to sneak into the water while I got out my camera." Hamilton started to smile when Jake's voice popped back into his mind.   
  
{Stay calm...stay calm...it's no big deal...breathe...}   
  
Hamilton briefly wondered what Jake was referring to when he noticed that they were now sitting right up against each other from him moving to get a better look at he picture.  
  
Hamilton's first instinct was to move, but then thought better of it. Sooner or later, he was going to have to see what this "thing" was between them and maybe this was a good place to start. He deliberately stayed where he was. Pretending not to notice the leg-to-leg contact, he turned the page to the next picture.  
  
{He hasn't moved. Why hasn't he moved?}  
  
He could feel Jake relax and pretty soon Jake's thoughts were back to the pictures. For the first time, Hamilton allowed himself to really feel Jake next to him. It was strange, he should feel uncomfortable with another guy sitting so close to him, but he didn't. If anything, it was comforting to have Jake next to him. It just felt natural.  
  
{Damn, that was the last picture. I'd love to stay and see more but I'd probably be pushing my luck. Tonight has been wonderful. I should leave before something bad happens.}   
  
Hamilton heard the thought and unconsciously nodded in agreement. It had been a very nice way to spend the evening. He felt better than he had in days.   
  
Jake was first to stand up and speak. "I guess I should get going. I don't want your father getting mad because I'm here late on a school night." {And I don't want any more contact than necessary with the Dean.}  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right." Hamilton stood up as well and placed the portfolio on the desk, briefly wondering why Jake was so nervous about being around his father.  
  
Jake turned to leave, but was stopped by Hamilton's voice.  
  
"Uh...Jake?" He said quietly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks, this was good. You were right. I needed to forget for a while."  
  
"You don't have to tell me, but what happened anyway? I can keep a secret, you know, I'm like a Swiss vault." They both laughed and smiled at the memory of Hamilton saying that just a few weeks ago.  
  
"It's not that I don't trust you, Jake. I just don't quite understand it all myself, yet. I fell off a ladder Saturday and I've been," he searched for the right words, "out of sorts, I guess, ever since. It's really hard to explain."  
  
Her eyes filled with concern for him again. {Ouch, that had to hurt.} "Ok, well...just remember that I'm here if you need me."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I should get going." {I don't want to leave.}  
  
"I'll walk you down."  
  
Hamilton watched Jake disappear from sight through his living room window. When he could no longer see Jake, he went back to his bedroom, got undressed and crawled into bed. He thought about the evening he had just spent with Jake. For once, he forced himself not to freak out about Jake's gender and instead focus on how he felt around Jake. With this new perspective he looked back on all the moments they had spent together since Jake came to Rawley. He came to the conclusion that there was more in his heart than just friendship.   
  
"But can I handle being more than just friends?" He asked the ceiling again.  
  
For the first time, he truly thought maybe he could. He drifted off to sleep still thinking about Jake.  
  
Classes went more smoothly the next day. Hamilton was finally adjusting to the extra noise in his head and learning to block it out. Finn's class was still the most difficult though. Jake's thoughts bounced between the material Finn was covering and remembering the previous evening. A few girls were actually thinking about the poem Finn was discussing. And then there were the others...tonight was Dawson's Creek night and several of the girls were hot for Pacey. Even though it was summer and therefore rerun season, these young ladies were all in a tizz over an hour of Pacey Witter.  
  
Hamilton shook his head, not understanding the allure of those sappy teen dramas on the WB. 'I'll take The Soprano's over that stuff any day,' he thought, shaking his head for emphasis.  
  
Practice was all business again and Hamilton was feeling comfortable enough to suggest that he and Jake hit Friendly's for dinner and some ice cream.  
  
"Sounds like a plan, give me 15 minutes to change." Jake smiled. "I'll meet you by my bike."  
  
{Stay calm, it's just a five minute ride.} Jake smiled as she approached her motorcycle and saw Hamilton already there.  
  
"Ready?" She asked, handing him the extra helmet.  
  
"Ready." He replied and climbed on.   
  
As Jake started the bike, Hamilton discovered a new dilemma - where to put his hands? Cautiously, he placed his hands on Jake's waist. Jake forced herself not to react and Hamilton was careful not to hold on too tightly or sit too close.  
  
{Breathe...breathe...it's just a five minute ride.} Jake took a deep breath and drove away.  



	3. Part III

They arrived at the diner and discovered both Will and Scout just starting their evening shift. They sat at the counter to eat, talking to the guys when they were in between tables. By the time Jake and Hamilton were ready for ice cream most of the dinner crowd was gone and the two were able to sit down and take a break. Loud laughter from outside caused all four heads to turn.   
  
Bella was outside the gas station and Sean was playfully chasing her around the pumps. Three of the heads turned back to their conversation. Scout alone was left staring at the scene outside. A moment later, Jake noticed that Scout hadn't rejoined the conversation. She followed his gaze and realized he was staring at Bella. The look in his eyes was unmistakable - love, complete, hopeless love.   
  
{It must be nice to have someone look at you like that. He's so obviously in love with her.}  
  
As Jake turned back to the conversation, she caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. Running her fingers through her super short "boy" hair, she suddenly felt very self-conscious.  
  
{I'm really starting to hate this haircut.}   
  
Jake stared out across the street again and watched the interaction between Bella and Sean. Feeling more self-conscious and sad with each passing moment.  
  
{Look at her, no wonder they're all crazy about her. She's beautiful. What guy wouldn't want long, blond hair and plenty of curves? How could someone like me ever compete with that?}  
  
Jake turned to look at Hamilton. {This would be so much easier if you weren't so incredibly gorgeous.}  
  
Hamilton dropped the uneaten spoonful of ice cream back into his dish, mild panic setting in. Whatever was going on between him and Jake was not something he wanted Will and Scout to witness. He wanted to be out of there - now.  
  
"Guys, I just remembered, I promised my mom I'd help her with some art supplies tonight. I gotta run. Catch ya later." Hamilton took out his wallet and left money on the counter for his meal.  
  
{What? Wait! Why is he leaving?} "Hamilton, wait! Don't you want a ride back?" Jake asked quickly.   
  
"No, that's ok, you stay and finish. I can walk back."   
  
{No...don't leave now. What happened?}  
  
Jake watched Hamilton leave and couldn't help but feel like crying. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. She hated going into the men's room but with the diner empty, it should be safe. Carefully checking to be sure she was alone, she washed her face with cold water and stared at her reflection. "Suck it up girl, you're supposed to be a boy and boys don't cry," she told the face in the mirror.  
  
Hamilton walked home slowly, trying to decide what he was going to do about Jake. He couldn't handle this wild ride of emotions forever. Sooner or later, he was just going to have to talk to Jake - about everything. By the time he reached his front door he had decided that tomorrow after practice was as good a time as any.  
  
Walking past his father's study, his mother suddenly stepped out and shut the door quickly behind her.   
  
"Hi Munchie, how was dinner?" She asked as she smoothed the tail of her shirt. {You weren't supposed to be home this early, Munchie. I hope he can't tell what we were doing.}   
  
Hamilton just shook his head and continued towards the stairs. "Fine, Mom. Goodnight, Mom."  
  
The next afternoon, Kate enlisted Hamilton to help get new girl settled in and he ended up missing Finn's class entirely. Worried that he wouldn't get the chance to talk to Jake before practice began, he raced back from the Girl's Campus. Hamilton slowed as he neared the docks, not wanting to appear too eager. Jake was leaning against the railing waiting with the others for Finn to arrive.   
  
Taking a space next to Jake, Hamilton leaned in slightly and whispered. "Can we talk after practice? Alone?"  
  
{What?} "Yeah, sure. What about?" {Is this good or bad?} Jake struggled to keep her expression neutral.  
  
"I'll explain later." Hamilton was spared further questions by Finn's arrival.   
  
Hamilton's request had obviously unsettled Jake. Jake's thoughts were normally focused on the team's rowing during practice, but today, her practice thoughts were outnumbered by personal ones. Hamilton tried to ignore Jake's voice in his head and concentrate on rowing. But as practice went on, he found them harder to ignore and even harder to understand.  
  
{Will is still going into the water too soon. Why does Hamilton want to talk to me alone? Scout looks like he's been doing this his entire life. What did I do wrong now? Why does Finn insist on rambling about literature while we are supposed to be concentrating on rowing? Why does he want to talk to me today of all days? I need to get to Carson before the drugstore closes. I don't want to say no to him, but if this takes too long, I'm really going to be hurtin'. Can't Brian ever get his timing right? What does he want to talk to me about?}  
  
Hamilton searched Jake's face, hoping for some sort of explanation for the thoughts. Jake was preoccupied and didn't even notice him staring. He continued to watch Jake, but found no answers. As they rowed up next to the raft in the middle of the lake, Jake looked somewhat apprehensive.   
  
{Please god, don't let Finn give us another swimming lesson. Not today, please!}  
  
When everyone was out of the boat and settled on the raft, Finn began reading the new poem. Hamilton tried to figure out Jake's sudden panic over swimming. Finn had made them swim the lake before and it was obvious that Jake could swim. So why was Jake praying they wouldn't have to swim today? What was the big deal?  
  
{Come on already, it's a poem, not a novel. Read the damn thing and let's get out of here.}  
  
Hamilton had to smile. Finn could be very, long-winded. None of Jake's thoughts gave him a clue as to what was really wrong though. 'Maybe he's worried I know he's really gay,' Hamilton thought.  
  
Finn finally finished the poem and Will saved them all by answering the ensuing questions about it's meaning. Climbing back into the boat, Jake breathed a sigh of relief. {Thank you! I could not handle swimming today. It's hard enough to hide this without having to jump in the water unexpectedly.}  
  
Hamilton looked at Jake. "Hide what?" He mumbled to himself.   
  
Jake was back to business until they neared the Rawley docks. Realizing that practice was almost over, Jake's nervousness about Hamilton returned.  
  
{What does he want to talk about? It's got to be a big deal or he wouldn't have asked that we talk alone. As much as I want to talk to him, I really don't need this today!}  
  
Jake and Hamilton both waited until everyone else was out of the boat before climbing out. Hamilton looked at Jake; it was now or never. They were either going to talk about everything that had been bothering him and get this out in the open or they were going to be uncomfortable around each other forever. There was no way Hamilton could tolerate the latter for very much longer. As unpleasant as it may be, they had to talk.  
  
"Can we go to your room?"  
  
{Oh god...} "Sure." Jake tried to smile.  
  
They walked to the dorm in silence, with Jake wondering what he wanted to talk about and how long this might take. She unlocked the door and ushered Hamilton into the room. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment as they both just looked at each other.  
  
{I'd never get tired of staring at that face. Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.}  
  
Jake's thoughts reminded Hamilton of his purpose. Not exactly sure how to begin he spoke slowly, putting the words together carefully.  
  
"Jake...I wanted to talk about... what's happened..."  
  
{Happened?}   
  
"I think you know what I mean."  
  
{Mean? OH MY GOD! Did it start already and it shows?} Jake fought the urge to check her backside in the mirror.  
  
"There's something unusual here and I think we should talk about it and be honest with each other." Hamilton took the tiniest of steps closer to Jake.  
  
Jake, however, was panicking. {Unusual? Talk and be honest? Oh god, it did start...there must be a spot on the back of my pants. He figured it out! Oh god, what if someone else saw and figured it out, too? What am I going to do now? Better yet...what's HE going to do now? Shit, this will not be a short conversation. There's no way I'm going to get to Carson before the drugstore closes now. Ok, think - you can either stay and have a very important conversation with the guy you're in love with or you can blow him off, possibly risking any hope of salvaging your relationship with said guy, and go to Carson anyway.}  
  
Hamilton stared at Jake. He heard the frantic whirl of thoughts and the "guy you're in love with" part. But that still didn't explain why Jake needed to go to Carson and why it was so important. After all, there was a drugstore right here in town. Maybe he should tell Jake about the fall and his newfound ability to hear thoughts first. For a moment he debated which subject was better to start with.  
  
{If I stay, where can I go so I won't run into anyone from school? Of course, if anyone else saw and figured it out, it won't matter. Damn, girl, you sure do know how to make things more complicated. If you hadn't been thinking about Hamilton so much for the last few days you would have realized how close you were and wouldn't be standing here starting your period with no tampons or pads. Think, Jacqueline, think!}  
  
"WHAT?" Hamilton practically shouted at Jake, who jumped at the sudden sound and volume of his voice. Hamilton backed up a few steps, his face betraying absolute confusion. "What did you just say?"  
  
Now it was Jake's turn to be confused. "I didn't say anything, Hamilton."   
  
"Oh yes, you did. I heard you! What do you mean - period?" Hamilton was tactful enough to whisper the last word. They were after all in the dorm and someone might overhear him.   
  
The color drained from Jake's face and she grabbed blindly for the bed to sit down. {How did he know that?}   
  
"And 'Jacqueline'?" Hamilton stopped stalking around the room just long enough to question her, eyebrows arched high and azure eyes wide. His emotions were in an uproar - this was not the conversation he had planned.  
  
"You know?" Jake whispered, not bothering with her "guy" voice this time. "How did you figure it out?" {And what are you going to do now that you know?}  
  
Hamilton stopped pacing again and looked at Jake. That wasn't Jake's normal voice...   
  
"Jake, I think you better tell me what's going on here."  
  
Jake mustered every ounce of courage she had and stood to face Hamilton. She needed him to know that she was sincere. "I don't know how you figured it out, but you did. Yes, I am a girl, Hamilton." The absolute shock on his face caught Jake by surprise. {If he already knows, why does he look so stunned?}  
  
"Are you ok, Hamilton?"   
  
Now it was his turn to need to sit down. 'Jake is a girl? But this was an all boys school...what was a girl doing here? How the hell did I miss something like that?'  
  
"You're...a...girl?"   
  
"Yes. And I am so sorry, Hamilton, you've got to believe me. I didn't want to lie to you, but I didn't think I would be here this long. My mother was supposed to figure it out by now and I didn't know we'd get to be such good friends in such a short time. I just didn't know how to tell you. Not to mention that your father is the Dean and could easily have me arrested for this..." She gestured to her clothing.  
  
"You...are...a...girl?" Hamilton still hadn't recovered from the shock.  
  
"Yes... Why are you so surprised if you had already figured it out?" Now Jake was getting confused again, she sat in the desk chair across from him.  
  
"I didn't know."   
  
"But then...how did you know about my..." Jake's face flushed red with embarrassment and her eyes dropped to the floor. She just couldn't bring herself to say the last word aloud.  
  
Hamilton took a deep breath. It was time for a confession of his own.  
  
"Icanhearwhatyou'rethinking." He blurted out and then braced himself for the tidal wave of her reaction.  
  
"What?" She asked in a way-too-calm voice. {What the hell did you just say?}  
  
"I...can...hear...what...you're...thinking."  
  
"You can hear WHAT?" The way-too-calm voice was gone.  
  
"Your thoughts."  
  
"What? How? When? Why?" Jake leapt up from the chair and paced frantically around the room.  
  
Hamilton sighed, rubbing his temples. "Jake sit down and let's start over." Jake cautiously walked back to the chair and sat down. "I wanted to talk to you today about what been going on between us. How we really feel about each other. Ever since I met you, I've felt drawn to you, happy with you. And then when you kissed me, I should have been furious, but I wasn't. I was confused because deep down inside - I knew I liked it. I started to think I was gay. I wanted to talk to you and find out how you felt about me and what we should do about it."  
  
Jake was stunned. "You liked it?" {He liked it? He liked it. You really liked it?}  
  
"Yes, I did. But it scared the hell out of me, too. I've been avoiding my feelings ever since, but then when I heard how you felt about me..."  
  
"Wait a minute - heard? I didn't tell anyone." {Who else knows? I haven't told anyone, not even Consuela.}  
  
"I know. It's really hard to explain. Remember when I told you that I fell the other day?"  
  
"Yeah, but you never gave me any details." {You haven't talked all that much in the last few days.}  
  
"I was standing on a ladder. Looking for my old portfolio, actually, when I fell off the ladder and hit my head on the footboard of my bed on the way down."  
  
"Ouch." Jake eyes filled with concern with the image of him getting hurt.  
  
"Yeah, ouch. But the really freaky thing is that ever since then, I can hear what people think."  
  
"You can hear what everyone is thinking?" Jake asked nervously. {You can hear what I'm thinking? What I've been thinking? What I'm thinking right now?}  
  
"Yes, but...not exactly everyone. I could hear what girls were thinking and you. It's been really weird because I couldn't hear any other guys. Only you and I heard you say that you were in love with me. Now I know why I could hear you."  
  
"Oh god!" Jake groaned and buried her face in her hands. {Oh god, oh god...my period... the guy I'm in love with...what else has he heard?}  
  
"That's why I wanted us to talk. Today. Before I lost my nerve, but then we got here and I heard..." Hamilton blushed as his words trailed off.  
  
"Oh god..." Jake groaned again still unable to look at Hamilton. "Is that how you figured it out?" {Please let lightening strike me down now.}  
  
"Not really. It didn't all make sense until you came right out and said you were a girl. I didn't know until just now. I've spent the last few days trying to accept the fact that I was in love with another guy. I had no idea he wasn't really a guy." Hamilton couldn't resist smirking as he said the last sentence.  
  
Jake stared at Hamilton with complete disbelief. {What did you just say?}  
  
"I said I had no idea you weren't really a guy."  
  
"No, just before that..." {The part where you used the word 'love'!} "Wait, you heard that, didn't you?" Jake buried her face in her hands again.  
  
Hamilton thought for a moment. "I was trying to accept the fact that I was in..." he stopped, realizing exactly what he had said, "love with another guy."  
  
Jake could barely speak; her voice came out small and timid. "Do you mean that?" {Please let him mean that...please let him mean that...please let him mean that...}  
  
"Yes, I do." {Oh, boy.}  
  
Hamilton stared into Jake's eyes, seeing the rush of emotions he was feeling reflected in them. For a long moment, they just looked at each other, really looking.   
  
{Those are the most beautiful eyes on the planet. And those lips, my god, he's got incredible lips. I really want to kiss those lips again. The first time was not enough, way too short. He's just too gorgeous for words. And he's standing here, in my room, not running away screaming because he just found out I've been lying to him since we met. He's here.}  
  
"I'm not going anywhere yet, Jake."   
  
Hamilton studied Jake's face realizing that he had been an idiot to think she was guy. Her features were too delicate, her chin far too smooth and she looked adorable with her cheeks still rosy from blushing so much. As if his fingers had read his mind, they went to her face and gently traced her features. Her skin was smooth and silky; his fingertips tingled with delight. He had to kiss her.  
  
Jake thought she was going to explode when he touched her, but nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of his lips gently pressing on hers. For a second, she simply enjoyed the contact, then the dam of pent up passion broke. {Oh my god, I just died and went to heaven.} She opened her mouth to his and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. I can't believe this is really happening. He eagerly responded, wrapping his arms around her waist and deepening the kiss, getting lost in his own flood of emotions.   
  
{This feels so good. Can I do this forever?}   
  
"Gets my vote." He answered without fully breaking contact with her lips. Jake gave him a little pinch for listening to her thoughts again and told herself to stop thinking so much.  
  
It was several minutes later before they came up for air again.   
  
"Wow." Hamilton looked a little dazed.  
  
"Yeah, wow." Jake's smile stretched from ear to ear. {I think I need to sit down.}  
  
"We still have a lot to talk about, Jake. Like the fact that your name isn't Jake and what exactly you're doing here."  
  
"I know. It's a long story though." Jake looked at her watch. {I might just make it.} "Can we talk later?"  
  
Hamilton smiled, remembering that SHE still had to get to Carson. "Yeah, sure. Call me when you get back?" A slight blush crept across his cheeks.  
  
{Oh god, that's right he knows. This is so embarrassing.} "Thanks. I will, I promise." A deeper blush settled on Jake's face as she remembered something else. {He can still hear what I'm thinking!}   
  
Hamilton looked at Jake with a sly grin as he opened the door and held it as she passed him. "Yes, I can."  
  
"Oh god!" Jake groaned as they walked down the hall together. {Don't think about anything. Don't think about anything...} The deep sound of Hamilton's laughter echoed off the paneled walls.  
  
Ninety minutes later she was back at Rawley and dialing Hamilton's phone number. With plenty of time to think during the ride to Carson, she had plenty of questions for Mr. Fleming and one really big concern.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi, it's Jake."  
  
"You're back?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Good. I'll be over in 10 minutes."  
  
Jake smiled and thought of the mind-boggling kiss they shared earlier. 'With any luck, there will be more of those', she thought and then stopped abruptly.  
  
"Wait, can you hear what I'm thinking now?"  
  
Hamilton paused. "No, actually. I guess it's just when I'm close to the person."  
  
Jake chuckled. "Maybe we should talk about this over the phone then."  
  
"No way. I just found out that the guy I've been attracted to is really a girl and a phenomenal kisser. I'm coming over!"  
  
Jake laughed again. "I'll see you in FIVE minutes then," she said and hung up the phone.  
  
Jake opened the door and smiled brightly when Hamilton appeared in the doorway. {God, I love that face.}  
  
"Thanks, yours isn't so bad, either." He chuckled as he entered the room.   
  
Jake groaned with frustration and closed the door. "I don't think I like this 'gift' of yours at all. It gives you an unfair advantage."  
  
"Unfair advantage, huh? Does that mean you want to know what I'm thinking?"  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact. I do." Jake crossed her arms and leaned against the door.  
  
Hamilton crossed the room to stand in front of her. "I'm thinking that even with as many questions as I have for you right now, I really don't want to talk just yet." Hamilton had spent the last hour and a half going over the fact the Jake was really a girl. Lately, he had spent so much time thinking about his possible homosexuality - that right now - the only thing he wanted to do was reaffirm his heterosexuality.   
  
Jake smiled and dropped her arms. Hamilton took that as an invitation and kissed her.   
  
The kiss went on and on, Jake pressed herself against Hamilton's chest in an effort to be closer to him. {Mmmm, this feels so good. He has such a nice chest.}  
  
Hamilton smiled without breaking the kiss, but then realized something and pulled back. "That reminds me," Jake blushed as she remembered he could hear her thoughts "where's yours?"  
  
Jake had to laugh. She didn't know which was more embarrassing, Hamilton hearing her think about his chest or trying to tell him how she hid hers. Instead, she reached under her shirt and unfastened the corset. "With this." She said, pulling it out with a smile.  
  
Hamilton looked from her chest to her hand and back to her chest. Smiling, he said, "I like this much better." And pulled her back against him for another kiss.  
  
Feeling his chest against hers, without the corset, was a whole new world of sensations for Jake. {This is even better. I could get used to this.}  
  
"Mmmm, me too. This is SO much better." He said between kisses.  
  
"Damn!" Jake said, stepping back from him. "This is not fair. I don't like this at all." She stalked over to the bed and sat down to pout.   
  
"I'm sorry." He smiled, clearly not sorry at all. This was fun, after days of being driven to distraction by unwanted voices, this was finally something he could enjoy hearing.  
  
He went to the bed and sat down next to her. "Why don't you tell me what you're doing here in the first place then?"  
  



	4. Part IV

Jake spent the next hour explaining her situation with her Mom and the desperate attempt she made to get her attention by coming to Rawley. She also told Hamilton about how it hadn't worked, yet. But that lately thanks to him, she was thinking that being here all summer might not be such a bad idea.   
  
"So can you forgive for lying to you all this time?" {Please let him say yes.}  
  
"I should be mad as hell at you, but right now, I'm so relieved that I'm not gay - I just can't be mad." Grinning wickedly, he took Jake's hand and laced his fingers with hers. "I do think that you should make it up to me though."  
  
"Oh, really? And how am I supposed to make it up to you, anyway?" {This could be fun.}  
  
Raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, he gave her a lusty smile. Leaning back on the bed, he pulled her down with him and said. "You'll think of something."  
  
Jake tried to open the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to attract attention to her room. Seeing no one in the hall, she motioned to Hamilton that it was safe. It was getting late, Hamilton needed to get home, but neither of them felt like explaining what he had been doing in Jake's room all evening. Hamilton passed Jake at the door and mouthed a silent "good night" before heading off down the hallway. Jake watched him walk away.  
  
{That's about the best-looking backside I've ever seen.} She smiled, thoroughly appreciating the view she had.  
  
Her appreciation quickly turned to embarrassment as she saw Hamilton reach around and pat himself on the behind just to remind her that he could still hear her thoughts. She closed the door then balled her fists and pounded the air in frustration.  
  
Hamilton was already there when Jake arrived for Finn's class the next day. {What no little Rawley girls to escort around today?}  
  
Hamilton chuckled to himself, somewhat amused with the jealous tone of Jake's thought. He turned to her and smiled as she sat down next to him.  
  
"Hi, boy."  
  
"Hi, boy." {How am I gonna sit next to him for a whole hour without touching him?}  
  
Turning his head so Jake wouldn't see him, Hamilton smiled again. Was it possible that she had forgotten he could hear her thoughts? He decided not to remind her just yet and see what she would think about during class. It was a dirty trick, but he just couldn't resist.  
  
Finn arrived and started his lecture. At first, Jake was able to concentrate on Finn and her thoughts revolved around the material he was covering. But Hamilton couldn't pay attention. This was the first time they had been in public together since he discovered she was a girl and he was having a very hard time concentrating on anything except what was under Jake's shirts. He was even able to ignore the thoughts from the other girls in the class. He was disappointed that it was so easy for her to pay attention when he was right next to her. He decided to 'remind' her that he was there. First he checked to see if anyone was looking in their direction, then he quickly ran his fingertips down the outside of her thigh.  
  
Jake's heart skipped a beat when she felt his touch. {What is he doing? We're right out in the open?} She shot him a look that clearly said "are you insane?"  
  
Hamilton just grinned for a response and then pretended to be interested in the book in front of him. Jake took the opportunity to study him for a moment.  
  
{I swear I have never seen a guy this beautiful before. There just aren't words to describe those eyes. Every time he looks at me with those intense, blue eyes, I just melt.}  
  
Hamilton fought hard not to smile or give any indication that he knew what Jake had just thought. This was what he wanted to hear. He looked away from Jake and noticed that another girl was looking at him. Clearing his mind of his own thoughts for a moment, the girl's voice appeared in his mind.  
  
{He even has sexy ankles! I love it when guys wear running shoes with no socks. Shows off their legs so well. And HE has legs to show off.}   
  
He looked back at Jake and saw that she was staring at him. He flashed her a brilliant smile.  
  
{Hummmmm. What an incredible smile.}  
  
He leaned towards her and quietly growled his trademark "GRRRR".  
  
{I love it when he does that; it's sooo sexy. Sends shivers down my spine every time.}  
  
Then he leaned back on his elbows and stretched out, confident now that Jake had completely lost interest in Finn and his lecture.  
  
{God, what a body! I'd like to strip him down and spend hours tracing every single curve of those muscles.}  
  
He crossed one ankle over the other.  
  
{Oh, bare ankles. I love bare ankles.}  
  
He pretended to reach into his pocket for something, causing his shorts to slide up on his leg revealing more skin.  
  
{And legs. He has such great legs.}   
  
Totally enjoying this little game, he deliberately licked his lips.  
  
{Oh god, don't do that! I want to kiss those lips right now.}   
  
He did it again.  
  
{That is so inviting. How long before we can be alone again?}  
  
Hamilton was so wrapped up in what Jake was thinking, that he forgot his original plan not to remind Jake that he could hear her thoughts. He discreetly held up 2 fingers and mouthed the words "two hours".  
  
Realization hit Jake like a linebacker. The sharp, deep breath she inhaled was loud enough for the entire class to hear. Finn stopped talking and looked right at her.   
  
"Is everything alright, Mr. Pratt?"  
  
Jake's face turned bright red. "Ah...yeah...sorry Finn...there was...a bug." Immediately realizing how 'girlie' that sounded, she added, "it bit my leg." {I am going to kill you!}  
  
Hamilton was dying. He wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time. He felt terrible for embarrassing Jake in front of the class, but the look on her face when she remembered his gift was priceless. He was going to pay dearly for this later, but it had been nice to hear her think about him that way. He needed to know she was as caught up in the heat between them as he was. Cautiously, he looked at her, she was still bright red in the face and he was positive that there was steam coming out of her ears.   
  
{I am going to kill you!}  
  
The minute class was over; Jake took off. Hamilton walked casually until he was away from the rest of the students, then he ran after Jake. By the time he caught up to her, she was almost to the dorm.  
  
"Jake?" {Keep walking, don't answer.}  
  
She kept walking.   
  
"Jaaake..." He put on his best "puppy dog" face, hoping to soften her. {Not gonna work puppy boy.}  
  
Still no answer. They were inside now and she was heading straight for her room. He followed in silence. She unlocked her door and walked in. He followed quickly; afraid she would close the door in his face. Turning to face her, he was greeted with a solid punch to the arm. A very solid punch...  
  
"Ow! Hey." He jumped back out of reach.  
  
"You!" She was fuming. "That was totally unfair." {I hate this so-called gift.}  
  
"Jake, I'm sorry. It was mean and I shouldn't have done it. I just...I...I couldn't resist. When you came in and thought about touching me, I was surprised that you didn't seem to remember that I'd hear you. Then I got curious about what you really think about." He moved to stand behind her and put his hands on her hips. She was still fuming, but made no effort to move.   
  
"I'm sorry." He planted a warm kiss on the back of her neck. {You should be, that was totally unfair.}  
  
"Very sorry." He kissed behind her ear. {I'm still mad. It's gonna take a lot more than that to make up for that stunt.}  
  
"It's just that I loved what you were thinking." He put a trail of wet kisses down her neck. {I'm embarrassed, too. You heard everything and then everyone in class thought I was nuts or something.}  
  
"You shouldn't be embarrassed. It was an incredible turn on for me to know you thought about me the way I think about you. I have no idea what Finn said for the entire class because all I could think about was you." He sucked at her neck and slid his hands under the hem of her shirt, caressing the few inches of skin not covered by the corset. {I'm still mad.}   
  
"You're not playing fair, you know." Jake stated, trying not to moan. {Mmmmmm.}  
  
"I know. I promise I'll never do that again." He moved to the other side of her neck. {That feels so nice...wait...I'm still mad.}  
  
"Damn straight you won't. After today, I won't forget again." {I won't be that foolish.}  
  
Slowly, he moved around her, still planting wet kisses along her neck. {Oooohhh, that is so not playing fair.}  
  
When they were face to face again, he gently pressed his lips against hers and waited for her reaction. She paused for a moment. {Do I really want to stay mad or enjoy the few minutes we have left before practice?} She opened her mouth to his and eagerly accepted his kiss.   
  
Jake broke away from their kiss and looked over Hamilton's shoulder at the clock.  
  
"We have to go. We have like five minutes to get to practice." {Like sitting in a boat will compare to this.}  
  
"Practice? This is the only practice I'm interested in." He replied trying to kiss her again.   
  
She dodged his lips. "Sorry, boy, but Finn thinks otherwise and unless you want him asking your father why you weren't at practice..." {That could be an interesting explanation. Where were you today, son? In Jake's room making out, Dad.}  
  
"Good point." He let her go and they headed for crew practice.  
  
On the way to the dock, they passed a pretty blond girl. When they were a safe distance away from her, Hamilton broke out laughing.  
  
"What?" {What now?}  
  
"She thought you were cute."   
  
"Oh, god. This just keeps getting better and better." Jake couldn't keep the sarcasm from her voice. {Just what I need now is some chick coming on to me.}  
  
"I thought I was surprised by you, can you imagine her reaction?" Hamilton was both amused and aroused at the thought of Jake kissing a girl who thought Jake was a guy.  
  
{I'll bet he's just loving the thought of that!}  
  
Practice was uneventful. Jake was successful in her attempts to keep her thoughts focused on rowing and Hamilton was more than a little disappointed that she could sit right across from him, yelling "stroke", and not think "private" thoughts about him. He was pouting as they walked away from the dock.   
  
"Hi, Hamilton!" The giggled greeting came from behind them. Jake and Hamilton turned to see Megan and Samantha from Finn's class. Both girls were wearing bikinis and carrying inner tubes, they had obviously been in the lake.  
  
{Subtle, ladies, very subtle.}  
  
"Oh, hi." Hamilton smiled, more at Jake's thought than the two girls.  
  
{He's so cute. Maybe I can convince him to join us.} Hamilton smiled at Samantha.  
  
{I wouldn't mind seeing him with that shirt off all nice and wet.} Then he smiled at Megan.  
  
"This is Jake, he's in Finn's class, too." {What are you doing? If you don't get us out of this soon, I'm leaving.}  
  
"Hi, Jake." They answered in unison.   
  
"Hi." Jake replied tersely and then looked away self-consciously. The two girls had great figures and were obviously enjoying showing them off. {I really don't want to be here right now watching them flirt mercilessly.}  
  
"So, Hamilton, wanna come join us in the lake? The water's beautiful today." Samantha asked hopefully. {Please say yes.}  
  
Hamilton looked at Jake. {You'd better not even consider it, pal.}  
  
"Thanks, but we were just gonna go grab dinner." Hamilton struggled to speak without laughing. {That's better.}  
  
"Maybe some other time then." {Darn.} Megan batted her eyelashes at Hamilton before the two turned around and went back to the water.  
  
Jake looked at Hamilton. He had the most impossibly smug smile on his face. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" [Of course, he enjoyed that, Jacqueline. They were flirting with him while wearing bikinis. He'd have to really be gay not to enjoy it.}  
  
"Noooo, not at all." Hamilton was biting his lip now, trying not to laugh.  
  
Jake studied him for a moment. He looked incredibly sexy standing there biting on his lower lip, but his ego had received enough attention for one day. They needed to do something neutral for a while. "I believe you mentioned dinner."  
  
His smile slipped a bit. "I just said that to get rid of them. You mean we can't go back to your room?"  
  
{Your ego might not fit through the door right now.} "Maybe later. Dining Hall or the diner?"   
  
"The diner sounds good. Do you want to change first?"   
  
{Change?} Jake looked down at the Rawley sweatpants and matching sweatshirt she wore for crew practice. {What good will it do me to change? I still have to look like Jake.}  
  
Hamilton lowered his voice and tried to get Jake to look him in the eye. "I like the way Jake looks." {Yeah, right.}  
  
"Look, let's just get out of here, ok?" Jake asked. {Away from bikinis, water and all the other summer things I can't enjoy right now.}  
  
"Let's go." Hamilton started walking, then stopped. "I forgot, I have to get my wallet from the house."  
  
Jake patted the small, nylon bag in her sweatshirt pocket. It was just big enough to hold her keys, a credit card and a couple of tampons. "Don't worry about it, I've got it covered." {Emergency backup.}  
  
"Jake, I don't want you to pay..." {Men...}  
  
Jake cut him off. "Hamilton, the Dean is at your house. I've had enough drama for one day. Can we please just go?" {I don't want to be any closer to the Dean than I have to.}  
  
A light bulb clicked on inside Hamilton's head. "That's why you got so nervous the other night at my house. OK. Let's go. I'll get the next dinner then."   
  
They walked to her bike in relative silence. Jake tried to focus her thoughts on the trees around them and not give Hamilton any indication that something was bothering her. The ride to Friendly's was equally silent. Jake was concentrating on the road and Hamilton just enjoyed the ride. This time there was no dilemma on his part as to where his hands should go. He held her firmly around the waist and kept his thighs tightly pressed against hers.   
  
The walked in and chose a booth in the back corner.  
  
Jake looked over the menu. "I'm starving." {What do I want to eat?}  
  
Hamilton looked up at her with a devilish grin. "Me, too. But what I'm hungry for isn't on the menu."   
  
Jake cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh really? And what exactly is it that you're hungry for?" {I'll bet I know the answer to this.}  
  
"To go back to your room and pick up where we left off before practice." He said quietly, his lowered voice adding a husky, sexy tone.  
  
"So, you're telling me that when you told those girls we were going to go eat, what you really meant is that we were going to go make out?" {Hamilton Fleming 101. Lesson One - Code Words.}  
  
"Something like that." He grinned.  
  
The waitress arrived to take their orders. When she left, Hamilton and Jake sat in silence for a moment.  
  
"Oh my god, that's too funny," Hamilton blurted out, laughing.  
  
"What are you talking about?" {There's no one here but us, what's so funny?}   
  
"The song."  
  
"What song?" {Now he's really hearing things.}  
  
"Jake, listen to the music." He pointed to the speaker mounted in the ceiling tiles above their booth. "It's kinda appropriate for my current situation."  
  
Jake listened closely to the music.  
  
When you close your eyes and go to sleep  
And it's down to the sound of a heartbeat  
I can hear the things that you're dreaming about  
When you open up your heart and the truth comes out  
  
You tell me that you want me  
You tell me that you need me  
You tell me that you love me  
And I know that I'm right   
Cuz I hear it in the night  
  
I hear the secrets that you keep  
When you're talking in your sleep  
  
She still wasn't quite sure the connection Hamilton was making. She waited for him to explain.  
  
"Rawley picks up this great 80's music station from Boston. I like to listen to it, sometimes. This song is Talking In Your Sleep by the Romantics."  
  
"Are you telling me that you talk in your sleep?" {He's losing it.}   
  
"No, silly. But does the line 'I hear the secrets that you keep' mean anything to you?" He smiled as if he had just delivered the punch line to a great joke.  
  
Jake thought for a moment and then laughed. "Yeah, I guess it does." {It certainly does.}  
  
Jake looked around before whispering. "You know, I really don't like this gift of yours. I hate that you know what I'm thinking. It gives you an unfair advantage and makes me have to censor everything I think." {Who knows how much you heard before you told me?}  
  
The waitress came back with their hamburgers, shakes and baskets piled high with fries. When she left, Hamilton stretched his leg out under the table and brought it up against Jake's. She sighed. {That's so sweet. I wish I could be in your lap right now.}  
  
They couldn't hold hands in public, but he wanted to make contact with her in some way. "Trust me, Jake. I haven't been enjoying this. It's really annoying to have all these unwanted voices and thoughts in my head. I don't want to know what every girl on campus is thinking. Especially not when I hear them say things like I'm cute, but yet, not one of them has ever bothered to talk to me before. And I certainly never wanted to hear my mother think about sex!"  
  
Jake burst out laughing at the look on his face as he remembered those thoughts. "Oh, my god. Was she really thinking about sex and you heard it?" {That is so funny!}  
  
Hamilton gave her a playful kick under the table. "It was NOT funny, Jake. I don't want to know what kind of lingerie she's planning on wearing in bed at night! That is just way too much information for me..." He shuddered at the mental image of his parents having sex.  
  
Jake was still chuckling over his discomfort when the bell over the diner door signaled new customers. They both looked to see who was coming in.  
  
"Oh, no." {What are they doing here?} It was the two girls who had been flirting with Hamilton down by the lake, now changed into short shorts and tank tops. They seated themselves at the far end of the counter, allowing a clear view of Hamilton.  
  
Jake rolled her eyes. {I think I just lost my appetite.} Hamilton bit his lip again to keep from smiling. He wasn't used to all this attention from girls. He'd spent years being ignored by the female students at school. And he had to admit, it felt good to see Jake acting a little jealous. His feelings for Jake had been so overwhelming and confusing, it was reassuring to know how she felt.  
  
Jake watched as the two girls stared at Hamilton from across the room. {Would you like binoculars, ladies?} Hamilton for his part, did his best to ignore them and pay attention to Jake. {Not that I like this, but I can see their point. He is gorgeous.}   
  
Hamilton gave Jake a shy smile and whispered "thank you" to her unspoken compliment. "You're pretty cute yourself."  
  
Jake was just about protest his compliment when she heard "Hi, Hamilton" and looked over to see Samantha and Megan standing at the end of their table.  
  
"Uh...hi. Samantha. Megan. What are you doing here?" {Yes, what are you doing here?}  
  
"We got hungry after you mentioned dinner. So we decided to come here and have desert as well. Didn't know we'd run into you..." Samantha gave Hamilton a sexy, flirtatious smile.  
  
{Oh, come on. That chick couldn't be any more obvious if she held up a sign!}  
  
Jake watched as Hamilton chatted with the two girls. She couldn't help but compare herself to them and she didn't like what she came up with. Both girls were wearing denim shorts and sandals that showed off their long, suntanned legs. Their white tank tops stood out against more tanned skin and clung to their curves. Jake glanced down at her bulky sweatshirt. {No curves here. And no tan for me this summer. A bathing suit is out the question. Why doesn't he just go join them? At least that way I don't have to watch this.}   
  
She watched as Megan flipped her long, brown hair off her shoulder and unconsciously ran her fingers through her own short hair. {I want long hair. And shorts. And bathing suits. Why am I here again? Oh yeah, that's right - to get my mom's attention. The same Mom who still hasn't figured out that I'm attending an all boys school. Yeah, great plan, Jacqueline.}  
  
Hamilton was trying to juggle the conversation with the girls, their thoughts and the thoughts he was hearing from Jake. This situation was obviously making her uncomfortable. Even though they hadn't finished eating yet, now was probably a good time to leave.  
  
"I'm sorry, you know, I just remembered I was supposed to help my Mom out tonight. We should really get going." He motioned for the waitress and asked her to pack the rest of their dinners to go.  
  
{Thank you!} Jake breathed a sigh of relief. They collected their take out containers, paid the bill and said goodbye to Samantha and Megan. As soon as the door closed behind them, Hamilton started apologizing.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jake. I had no idea they would be here."  
  
"Hamilton, it's not your fault. You shouldn't have feel guilty because pretty girls happen to like you and want to flirt with you. I got myself into this mess, not you." {Besides, I can't argue with their taste. If I weren't supposed to be a guy here, I'd have been flirting with you from day one.}  
  
"Jake, you did flirt with me when you were supposed to be a guy! You even kissed me and turned my entire world upside down." Hamilton teased as they walked to her bike.  
  
Jake smiled sheepishly. "Oh yeah, that's right." {Like I could ever forget that kiss.}  
  
"Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we take dinner back to your room, throw a blanket on the floor and have an indoor picnic? We can turn on some music and lock the door..."  
  
The hopeful look on his face made Jake feel better than she had all night. "Sounds like a plan." {That's amazing. Girls falling all over him and he wants to go have a picnic with me.}  



	5. Part V

As soon as they were in her room, Hamilton locked the door and Jake grabbed an extra blanket from the bed. She laid it out on the floor and unpacked their dinners while Hamilton rummaged through her CD collection.   
  
Sitting on the floor, Jake watched Hamilton as he started the music. It was a pretty basic task, putting a CD in the player and pushing a button, but she was amazed at how he made every little thing seem sexy. The way his long, elegant fingers held the CD. The way the muscles in his arms and legs moved and flexed as he reached across her desk. The delicious curves and contours of his body that his crew shorts and tank top exposed.  
  
{Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe him. Inside and out. He's incredibly sweet and sensitive, intelligent and funny. He could probably have any girl he wanted and I know of at least two that want him. So why is he here with a freak like me? I've gotten myself into a situation where I can't look or act like a girl, so why on earth would he want to be here? He could be with some pretty blond who can walk around showing off her figure and not be stuck with someone whose family issues caused him to doubt his own sexuality...}  
  
Hamilton heard Jake's thoughts, but kept himself busy at her desk to have a moment to think as well. It bothered him that she felt so bad about herself. How could anyone make him feel the way he felt over the past few weeks and think of herself as a freak? Yes, this was an unusual situation, but those other girls weren't any prettier than Jake. They were just able to show it off more than Jake's situation allowed. She was beautiful and he was crazy about her. Now he just needed to convince her of that...  
  
Hamilton joined Jake on the blanket.   
  
"Hungry?" She asked. {You're always hungry.}  
  
"Yes. But not for burgers or fries." He replied, grinning wickedly.  
  
"Oh, really?" {Is this Hamilton code for making out or something else?} "So, what are you hungry for..."  
  
He cut her off. "Did you know that you have beautiful eyes?"   
  
What? Jake blushed as he kneeled in front of her and placed butterfly kisses on her eyelids. {Oh, wow.}  
  
"Hamilton..."  
  
He cut her off again. "Did you know that you have an adorable nose?" Before she could answer, he kissed her on the nose. {He's so sweet.}  
  
"Ham..."  
  
"Or that you have an incredibly sexy neck?" He trailed wet kisses down her neck. {Oh, yeah...}  
  
"H..."  
  
"And beautiful hands." He kissed the back of both hands and then each fingertip individually. {I may burst into flames!}  
  
He pushed up the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "And wrists." He kissed all the way around each wrist. {Oh my god.}  
  
Jake realized he had stopped. "What's wrong?" {Please don't let something be wrong. Please don't stop.}  
  
"Nothing," he said with a smirk. "I just ran out of exposed skin."  
  
"I can fix that. Be right back." {I'll fix it...just don't lose that train of thought!} She jumped up and went to the dresser. She pulled something out of the drawer and went to the closet. Changing behind the closet door, she removed the bulky sweatshirt, her T-shirt and the corset, and put on a dark blue tank top in their place. She tossed the shirts in the closet and went back to the blanket.   
  
She noticed that Hamilton had moved the untouched food out of the way. She sat across from him and couldn't help but smile when she saw his admiring gaze.  
  
"Is this better?" She asked. {Lots more places to kiss now.}  
  
"Much." His eyes traveled over the tank top and lingered at her chest. "So, where was I?" {You were kissing my wrists.}  
  
"I forgot. You'll have to remind me." {I won't mind if you go back and start all over.}  
  
"I think, I said you had beautiful wrists, but now I see that you have lovely arms as well."   
  
He held her hand and kneeled before her again. Starting at her wrist, he trailed warm, wet kisses all the way up her arm. He stopped at her shoulder and then gave her other arm the same attention.   
  
Ooooooh...was Jake's only thought as shivers raced down her spine.   
  
Crawling around so that he was behind her, he put his hands on her waist and whispered in her ear, "and such smooth shoulders." He planted kisses across each shoulder and then on the back of her neck.  
  
{Oh my god, I'm gonna melt.}  
  
He pulled her against him and rested his chin on her shoulder. He spoke softly into her ear again.  
  
"Jake, I want you to know that I am crazy about you. From the moment we met, I knew there was something special between us. So special that I was ready to accept that I was gay, even though I had never thought twice about another guy before. I think you are beautiful and sexy regardless of what you're wearing. I know who you are, what other people see isn't important. In my eyes, you are the prettiest girl around. No one else makes me feel the way you do." {I love you so much! I think I'm going to cry.}  
  
Jake could feel tears forming and wiped at them with her hands. This was not the time to cry, even if they were happy tears. She hated that he could hear all of her thoughts, but maybe just this once it had been a good thing. More than anything, she needed to hear the words he had spoken. She needed to feel loved and special and pretty. She needed to feel like she was the center of someone's attention.  
  
"Thank you, Hamilton. That means so much to me. You mean so much to me..."  
  
He turned her around to face him. "Shhh." He put his fingers to her lips to quiet her.  
  
"This is beautiful, too." He said, as he leaned to place kisses along her collarbone and in the hollow of her throat. {I've died and gone to heaven.}   
  
Hamilton smiled as he moved up her throat and then kissed under her chin. He traced her jaw line and left kisses behind each ear. He kissed his way to her forehead, before resting his against hers.   
  
She opened her eyes. "What's wrong?" {Why do you keep stopping?}  
  
He sat back on his heels and grinned. "I ran out of exposed skin again."  
  
Jake's smile lit up her face. {I know just how to fix that.} "Give me ten minutes?" She asked.  
  
"What?" He looked confused as she got up and started collecting things from her dresser. She walked back to the closet, retrieved her sweatshirt and corset and put them back on. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Trust me. I'll be back in ten minutes." {You won't be sorry - I hope.} She smiled and gave him a quick kiss before dashing out the door.  
  
Jake forced herself to walk, not run, down the hallway to the bathroom. The halls were deserted and Jake found the bathroom empty as well. Heading for the showers, Jake stepped into the shower stall and undressed quickly, careful to hide her clothes under her towel when she hung them on the hook outside the shower stall. She reached for her soap and started lathering her skin.  
  
{I'm sooo glad I shaved this morning!}  
  
Hamilton was left to sit in Jake's room and wonder what she was doing. He idly replayed the last few hours of the day in his mind, including when Megan and Samantha has flirted with him after practice. "Practice...I never got a chance to clean up after practice!" He went to Jake's desk and scribbled a note. Leaving it on the bed, he left the room and headed for the bathroom.  
  
Hamilton opened his locker in the shower area of the bathroom. The lockers were there for the staff members who also coached sports to keep extra changes of clothing, gym bags, and the like. Hamilton, who preferred hanging out in the dorm as opposed to home, had "acquired" a locker here as well. Moving quickly, he pulled out his gym bag and headed for the showers, noting the sound of running water coming from one of the stalls.  
  
Jake heard the water turn on in another stall and started to panic. {Oh no, who's in here? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I wanted to clean up, but if I get caught it won't be worth it.}  
  
Hamilton had just turned on the water when Jake's voice popped into his mind. He smiled. Now he knew where she went and what she was doing.  
  
Jake tried to hurry. {I want to get back there before he changes his mind.}  
  
'Don't worry, Jake. I won't change my mind.' Hamilton thought from the other shower.  
  
Jake turned off the water and pulled her towel into the shower stall. Drying off, she thought of all the places that Hamilton had kissed her. {He has the most amazing lips. And hands. Does he know how to make the hormones run at full speed or what? I don't think I've ever been kissed quite like that and I certainly have never wanted anyone more than I want him.}  
  
Hamilton turned off the hot water and stood under the cold spray in an attempt to slow down his arousal. 'Down boy. Stay calm,' he coached himself.  
  
Jake put on the change of clothes she had brought with her and put her jeans and bulky sweatshirt back on over them. {I hope he likes this.} Combing her hair, she studied her boyish reflection for a moment. She wished there was more she could do to look more feminine, like makeup or style her hair. Even perfume would help, but it was too risky. Getting caught would mean leaving Rawley...and Hamilton...and that was the last thing she wanted right now. With one last glance in the mirror, she gathered her things and left the bathroom. {I can't wait to see what happens next.}  
  
Hamilton heard her leave and turned off the water. Drying off, he tried to slow his racing heart and not read too much into her thoughts.   
  
Jake opened the door to her room and was surprised to find it empty. She spied the note on her bed. Now it was her turn to wonder what he was doing. She took off her sweatshirt and jeans and began putting away her shower items. She had just closed the last drawer when Hamilton came back. He closed the door, locked it and turned around, not sure what he was going to see.  
  
"Wow." Hamilton's jaw dropped.  
  
{Really?}  
  
"Wow." He repeated, crossing the room to stand in front of her.  
  
{I think I like the look on his face.} "Is this better?" She asked shyly.  
  
"Oh yeah..." Hamilton took her hands and gently lifted them, holding her arms out and taking in the sight before him. It was just a change of clothes, but wow, what a difference. This Jake was wearing short, black running shorts and a black sports bra that showed off a fabulous figure. He stepped back a bit to admire her long legs, smooth shoulders, incredible abs and the chest she normally tried so hard to hide.   
  
"This...is what has been under all those baggy clothes since the session started?" He asked, still stunned by the change in her appearance.. Jake gave a small nod and looked down at the floor as her cheeks turned rosy pink. {Yes. Do you like what you see?}  
  
"And you waited - how long - after that kiss to tell me?" Jake looked up. {Oh no, he's mad.}  
  
"Jake, it's not that. It's just, god, all that time I was trying to deny that I was attracted to you. If you had told me then, we could have been together all along. I thought I was falling for a GUY! You could have saved me so much confusion..." {I know, I know, I am so sorry.}  
  
"I'm sorry, Hamilton. I just didn't expect this to happen." She looked at him and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "What can I say - you have great instincts?" She joked as she wrapped her arms around him. {Please lets get back to what we were doing before.}  
  
Feeling her body pressed up against his chased off any anger he may of felt at the moment. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her. His hands slid up her sides, over her shoulders and back down her spine, leaving a trail of heat up and down her body.   
  
Jake pressed even closer to Hamilton, sliding her hands under the back of his shirt and rubbing her chest against his. A small, helpless moan escaped his lips. Caressing his back, Jake marveled at how he felt. His body was chiseled and solid, but his skin was smooth and hot. Kissing her way from his lips to his neck, Jake drank in the scent and taste of his skin. {Mmmm, he smells so good and feels wonderful.}  
  
Hamilton was in heaven. Jake's body pressed against him sent all the blood in his body racing back to his groin. The outfit she had changed into allowed him access to more of her skin and with no corset in the way, he could feel her breasts as she rubbed against him. The sensation was amazing. When Jake's lips moved to his neck, he nuzzled against her and breathed in the wonderful scent of her skin.  
  
They voiced the same thought at the same time. "You smell good."  
  
They laughed at their identical thought. Jake stepped back and finally noticed that Hamilton was still wearing a tank top, but he had on different shorts.   
  
"Where did you go?" {You changed clothes.}  
  
"Where did you go?" He teased.  
  
"I wanted to freshen up, so I took a quick shower." Jake admitted, slightly embarrassed. {I didn't want all the dust and dirt from the day to ruin such an incredible moment.}  
  
Hamilton flashed her a huge smile. He knew where exactly where she had been when he asked the question. "Great minds must think alike then, because I did the same thing." He took her hand laced his fingers with hers.  
  
"Where? You don't live here." {You couldn't have gone all the way home.}  
  
"I have a locker in one of the bathrooms." He kissed the backs of her hands in between words.  
  
"How convenient..." She teased, too wrapped up in his touch to make the connection. {You look and feel so good...}  
  
"Yes, it is. Now where were we?" He gave her a lusty smile and pulled her against him again.  
  
"I believe you said something about 'running out of exposed skin'." {I believe I was in heaven, being kissed by an angel.}  
  
"That's right...and I do believe that there is some new skin exposed. Like here..." He kneeled down and kissed her side. Gently kissing and sucking, his lips made a path from her side, across her stomach, to her other side. {Ooooh...my knees feel like jello.}  
  
Hamilton stood and scooped Jake up into his arms. Carrying her to the bed, he laid her down and was about to join her.   
  
"Not so fast, I think you need a little more exposed skin, too." Jake purred and tugged on the hem of his shirt. {I want more of that stunning chest.}  
  
Hamilton was happy to oblige. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, prompting thoughts from Jake that she was powerless to stop. {I wonder what he looks like completely undressed? That would be a breathtaking sight - it has to be. What I've seen so far is stunning; it could only get better.}  
  
Hamilton tossed the shirt aside and laid down on his side next to her. He traced her jaw line with sweet, slow kisses before covering her mouth with his. Jake responded eagerly to his kiss and let her hands explore his body. All the places she had wanted to touch since that first day at crew practice but couldn't because of her secret. Now that he knew, she could lose herself in him. Desperate for closer contact, Hamilton slid his leg between hers and moved to cover most of her body with his. The new sensations created by their bodies pressed against each other so intimately were overwhelming. They were lost in the feel, scent, and taste of each other. Jake felt his growing erection against her and tried to drag her mind out of the erotic fog.  
  
{We should stop. This could be dangerous.}  
  
Hamilton broke their kiss. "What? Why?"  
  
"Because I'm completely losing the ability to think, that's why."  
  
"But I thought you said you couldn't wait to see what happens next?"  
  
Jake sat up straight. "What? When did I say that?"   
  
Hamilton's face fell, he'd just given away that it was him in the other shower. Something he hadn't mentioned earlier...and probably should have.  
  
Jake expression changed immediately when she remembered exactly when she had used those words. {You were in the other shower!}  
  
"I can't believe you were in there and didn't tell me." Her face was a mixture of frustration, embarrassment and anger. {You were there...and heard everything! I HATE this gift!}  
  
Hamilton tried to pull Jake into a hug and apologize. "I'm sorry. I just thought you wouldn't want to know it was me in there. I thought it might make you uncomfortable or something. I'm sorry, Jake."  
  
She allowed him to put his arms around her, but refused to hug him back, yet. Hamilton spoke softly, still trying for forgiveness. "I hate this, too, Jake. I didn't ask for this to happen and I don't know how to make it go away. Please forgive me, I'm still learning how to deal with it." He gave her his best puppy dog eyes.  
  
{Those eyes...that is so not fair using those eyes.} Jake was melting, wanting to kiss him again, touch him again, but it was time to get even. He'd benefited enough from this new ability and it was time for Jake to have some fun.  
  
As Hamilton's lips pressed against hers again, she fought the urge to smile and concentrated on her thoughts. At first, she kept her mind clear, giving in to his kiss. When he thought she had forgiven him, it was time...  
  
{Mmmm, Scout...}  
  
"WHAT?" Hamilton looked like he had been slapped. "What are you doing thinking about Scout?"  
  
Jake played innocent. "What are you talking about? I wasn't thinking about Scout. You must have heard wrong."  
  
Hamilton looked perplexed. Was she right? Had he heard wrong or was she thinking about Scout while kissing him? Jake pulled Hamilton back to their kiss. Hamilton was just beginning to forget about Scout and respond with his prior enthusiasm when Jake got him again.   
  
{Hamilton is a really great kisser, but Scout...now those are some talented lips.}  
  
"WHAT? When the hell did you kiss Calhoun?"   
  
"I've never kissed Scout." Jake replied nonchalantly and tried to kiss him again, but Hamilton was still thinking about her and Scout. Jake decided a distraction was in order. As she trailed warm wet kisses along his neck, her hands caressed his naked chest. It worked and a low moan escaped Hamilton's lips. Jake could feel him relax and enjoy her touch.   
  
{He's got a really nice chest, too. But Scout's is a little more developed...}  
  
"That's it Jake! Why are you thinking about Scout when we're..."  
  
Jake's laughter cut him off. "I'm sorry...but you deserved it...after what you did in Finn's class and then with the shower..." She couldn't finish explaining. She couldn't stop laughing and the look on his face only served to make her laugh harder.  
  
Shock was the first thing that flashed across Hamilton's face as he realized what she had just done to him. Then came a touch of anger, followed by frustration. With mock fierceness, he grabbed her sides and pushed her down on the bed.  
  
"You are so going to get it for that!" He attacked her ticklish ribs mercilessly. She squealed and tried to get away from him, but he was stronger. Hamilton held her against the bed and continued his tickle attack.  
  
"Scout huh?" He shifted to tickle the insides of her thighs. "I'll show you." She fought against him as he moved to the one place that was even more ticklish than her ribs.  
  
"What's the matter, Hammie? Can't take a joke?" She struggled to get free of his grasp. The new position he had shifted to left him slightly off balance and allowed Jake to sit up. After several minutes of playful wrestling and tickling, they found themselves sitting up on the bed, out of breath and staring at each other's lips.   
  
Overcome by the need to kiss him, Jake climbed in his lap, wrapped her legs around his waist and gave him a kiss full of passion and hunger. Hamilton relaxed and responded to the kiss, leaning back to pull Jake down on top of him.  
  
"Whoa..."   
  
SMACK!  
  
They landed on the hard wood floor, Jake on top of Hamilton.   
  
Jake scrambled to get off of him and kneeled next to him. "Oh my god, Hamilton! Are you okay?" It came out as a half-laugh, her concern mixing with the comedy of them falling off the bed together.  
  
Hamilton just laid there, slightly dazed, thinking that he really needed to stop hitting his head this week. "Oh..." was all he could muster.  
  
Jake cradled him against her chest and kissed his head. "Your head... Are you ok?"  
  
Hamilton tried to sit up. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Another headache, but I'll live."  
  
Jake helped him up and he laid down on the bed. She sat next to him and looked at him with worried eyes. "Are you sure you're ok?"  
  
"I'll be fine." He took her hand and kissed it. "At least this time I was having fun when I fell."   
  
Jake couldn't help but smile. He was the one that was hurt, and still, he was making her feel better. She leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. He pulled her closer and slid his tongue across her lips. As the kiss deepened, Hamilton pulled Jake on top of him, she straddled his hips and immediately felt his erection growing again. Feeling him between her legs ignited a fire of arousal that was new to Jake.  
  
'Oh my god, this feels so good. Now I know why guys think about sex so much,' she thought to herself. Jake heard her own words and realized that Hamilton would have heard them, too. Slightly embarrassed again, she kept kissing him, but waited for his reaction.   
  
When none came, she pulled back. "What? No answer for that one?"  
  
Hamilton looked confused; he had no context for the question. "What?"  
  
"I figured you heard that and would have something to say."  
  
Hamilton paused for a moment. He hadn't heard anything.  
  
"Jake?" He asked slowly, not wanting to get his hopes up. "What are you thinking right now?"  
  
"I'm wondering what that look on your face is for, wait, can't you hear me?"  
  
"Think of a color." He asked, sitting up with her still on his lap.  
  
Jake thought for a second. "Ok, what color was it?"  
  
Hamilton broke out into a huge smile. "I have no idea! I didn't hear anything!" He pulled Jake into his excited embrace. "Yes! It's gone."  
  
Jake kissed him all over as a wave of relief washed over her. Hamilton couldn't hear what she was thinking anymore! It was wonderful to have her thoughts be private again.  
  
His lips found hers again and their tongues met. Consumed by the desire to be closer to him, Jake wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her body into his. Hamilton was fully aroused again. Jake could feel how hard he was, even through their clothing. Without thinking, she rocked her hips against him several times, both gasping at the new sensation.   
  
Finally needing air, Jake nuzzled against him. She felt his chest vibrate and saw that he was quietly laughing to himself.  
  
"Now what?"   
  
"I was just thinking." Jake looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I may not be able to hear what you're thinking, but I still KNOW what you're thinking." The sexy half smile and arched eyebrows were so incredibly smug.   
  
"Oh really? And just what am I thinking?" Jake hoped he was wrong so she could take his inflated ego down a notch.  
  
"That you want me." He broke out into a full-blown smile.  
  
Jake sat there stunned. 'Damn! He was right...'  
  
"Told ya I knew!" Hamilton laughed as he pulled her back down on the bed again.  
  
Several hours later, Hamilton kissed Jake goodnight one more time, before finally opening the door and quietly walking out. She closed the door behind him and got ready for bed. Crawling under the covers, she wrapped herself in blankets that smelled of Hamilton and fell asleep thinking how much fun this summer was going to be.   



End file.
